Real Life Email

J: only saw this once, but there was a great commercial for
Nintendogs. Shows some 12 or 13 year old boy playing with his
Nintendog, which starts to bark because it senses other Nintendogs
around. HA-ZAH! its his sisters girlfriends coming over to play.
ANd, of course, his Nintendog gives him an 'in'
I'd have bought that in 2 seconds.

--
M:wow, that *is* a good commercial. of course, now I can add the
classic "buy some wine coolers + menthols" component to the mix and...

... no, best i don't say aything more.
--
J:yes, please don't.
As I work on a military base, the last thing I need is someone showing
up here to ask me about our plans to seduce little girls.
--
M:what, a guy can't smoke menthols and drink wine coolers and play
nintendogs in the privacy of his own house? What are you, some kind
of freedom-hating monster?

leave us not forget that *i'm* not the one who used to live across the
street from the catholic school, mister.

(hmm. i thought the google ads for this were going to be more exciting)
--
J:I believe I have made it clear that yes, I am a freedom-hating monster.
However, the school wasn't my fault.
And what red-blooded american guy WOULDN'T sit out on the porch with
some booze and wearing a speedo at 3:15 each day?

(yeah, I'm getting DDR ads up the ass)
---
M:i hear the kids love DDR. love it a lot.
---
J:I'm not kidding.
I'm really disappointed in google-ads
---
M: Oh, i'm seeing them too: i'm really not that surprused: after all, I
did mention DDR previously, and it *is* a pretty big cash cow, and now
it's just getting mentioned further, so, as far as it is concerned, we
must really be interested in it.

Still, we *definitely* should have a little more variety in ads.
---
J:It would appear google ads has something of a one-track mind.

wait.

penis enlargement.

mortgages

dental work
---
M:I got free ringtones! Good job! (though i'm not sure where that came from...)

let's see, what else.

viagra

cialis

free imac

canadian pharmacy
---
J:whoa
you killed google ads
have NOTHING
---
M: that's just impressive, if you stop and think about it: probably the
glut of keywords in a single email thread just crashed a server..

"must... display.. ads... cannot.. choooooooosee...."
---
J: now I'm just scared.

dating

girls

lesbian
---
M:oh my god, i think we *really* killed it.

weight loss

rolex watches

paris hilton
---
J: brangelina

scientology

ninjew

car loan
---
M: IT'S NOT WORKING!!! THE INTERNET IS DYING!!!
---
J: FUCK!!!

Look, without google ads, how will I know what books and hair care
products and various services I might enjoy learning more about?

How will I know where to find singles in my area?

What will become of my near-obsessive need to get the lowest interest
rate on my various loans regardless as to the processing fee?

HOW WILL I KNOW HOW TO MAKE MONEY FROM SURVEYS????
---
M: apparently, you're just shit out of luck now.

You're just going to have to go to the store, and consume at random

try a local bar

call that guy in the question mark suit

and you can't, dumabss

(respectively)
---
J: so...quiet...like dead air on the radio. creepy.

** follow up once I mentioned I was going to post this**
M: hey, when you get to the part about seducing little girls. can you
please change my name to, like, i dunno, Lance or something?

actually, wait, it would make more sense if my name didn't change in
the middle of the conversation - that would probably make me look even
worse.

M: "Nintendogs is cool!"
J: "I agree"
Lance: "You can use it to seduce little girls"
J: "What?"
M: "Nothing."

Yeah, that would look weird.

Tags:google-ads