Friday, April 21, 2006

New Reality Show

My new favorite reality show

Morgan, a caustically engaging fellow, isn’t crazy. He uses the urine jar because there’s only one bathroom in his dingy New York domicile, and his mom is in there a lot. (Morgan’s life kind of sucks.)


This makes me more sad than angry

Oh for the days when it was OK to beat up fags

no...just sad...


Thursday, April 20, 2006


Live Every Day As...

Now, normally, I think the onion has turned into a repetative, one-gag site (or is that redundant?), but it has now provided me with my new philosophy for life


Purity Ball

Purity Ball

This event, recently held in South Dakota (courtesy of the Abstinence Clearinghouse), can pretty much be summed up as Ritualistic Surrender of My Sexuality to Daddy. At the Purity Ball, girls don prom dresses to be escorted by their fathers to a Dominionist's wet dream of a formal dance where dad and daughter pose for prom-style pictures under a heart-shaped arch of balloons.

ok, I was one of those people "who pooh-pooh the notion that abortion restrictions and abstinence movements are, at their cores, solely about controlling women's sexuality"
While I'm not saying that all anti-abortion/abstinence people are so motivated, I can't deny that these purity balls' are acts of control over women (as mentioned, there are no such customs for boys) and their sexuality.
While I can applaud the attempts to guide a daughter's sexual behavior, I can't help but see this as a 'women are still only women, not men' kind of thing.
Face it, girls, daddy owns your cunt and then hubby does.

(ok, that first bit is really disturbing)


Wednesday, April 19, 2006


Speak No Evil

BELGRADE, Serbia-Montenegro (AP) - A Serbian prisoner using needle, thread and safety pins stitched his lips and tongue together to avoid a scheduled court hearing in his robbery case, the Blic newspaper reported Saturday.

(I don't even know how to tag this for technorati)


Nope, you HAVE to watch the commercials

basically, the system looks for flags that are generally used to increase interactivity with TV (i.e. 'more information', 'extra footage', etc):
Philips suggests adding flags to commercial breaks to stop a viewer from changing channels until the adverts are over. The flags could also be recognised by digital video recorders, which would then disable the fast forward control while the ads are playing.


Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Doug TenNapel on DaVinci

Relativising The DaVinci Code

Basically, Doug (who, btw, wrote the fantastic Creature Tech I reviewed a while back) is saying that you can really get away with offending Christians but not so much with, say, Jews or Blacks. Offend Jews, you are an anti-semite or, at the very least, culturally insensitive. Offend Christians, and you are standing up for free speech.
Obviously it isn't quite that simple, but he does have a point which I've agreed with for a while.
He chooses some really poor examples to illustrate this point.
He uses the holocaust, slavery, and child molesting.
Unfortunately for his very legitamate arguement, these don't actually work here.
Sorry, Doug, but while I know you believe in the life of Jesus Christ as fact, your faith doesn't cut it against the historical facts of the holocaust and slavery (and the current facts of child molesting). Regardless of how much evidence there may be for the existence of Jesus as portrayed in the Bible, it falls short of academic standards, and certainly pales when compared to events in the 19th and 20th century.

You would have been better off finding parallels in these cultures and the stories (factual or otherwise) that create their collective identities. For example, a movie where Moses was just trying to scam the Jews and accidently stumbled into Israel. Thats much closer to the DaVinci Code, I think.

Oh, here's one, what if someone made a movie about how the Jews gathered together to slaughter Jesus for their own self-interest and to take away the salvation of his followers?
already done.

that little jibe aside, I think my point still stands.



Brain Link Hat!!!

Soon I'll be able to control all the HQ defenses with a thought!


Mistress Of The Basement sent this (from the onion):
"Despite theories that dolphins are excellent communicators, they responded to questions on land with only labored wheezing and shrill, distressed screams."


To which I could only reply:
not for long.


Gays should be celibate

Bush's Policy

Abstinence curricula must have a clear definition of sexual abstinence which must be consistent with the following: “Abstinence means voluntarily choosing not to engage in sexual activity until marriage. Sexual activity refers to any type of genital contact or sexual stimulation between two persons including, but not limited to, sexual intercourse.”
Throughout the entire curriculum, the term “marriage” must be defined as “only a legal union between one man and one woman as a husband and wife, and the word ’spouse’ refers only to a person of the opposite sex who is a husband or a wife.” (Consistent with Federal law)"

It seems to me that, really, the only way to make sure no sexual stimulation takes place between gays is to keep an eye on them. And the best way to do that, it seems, is to, y'know, gather them into relocation living facilities. Anyhow, they'd be happier there amoung their own kind, and safer too! Yes, it'll be for their own good. Maybe we could give these places some sort of happy-fun name...
Yes, we can call them camps!


Proving God

Proving God, trying to prove God, is a pointless, ugly, misguided thing to do.
It's faith that is important.

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Michelle Malkin...twit+1


Vandals struck at least six sport utility vehicles Saturday night on the Westside, slashing tires and spray-painting politically charged messages such as "Oil equals blood" and "Guzzle" on the side of the vehicles, authorities said.

Throwing paint at cars is thuggery.
What is throwing blood at women getting abortions?
bombing clinics?


More interesting things to watch

Tourettes Guy

Apparently a guy with Tourettes and alcoholism.
Sad, but potentially amusing


More interesting things to watch

Tourettes Guy

Apparently a guy with Tourettes and alcoholism.
Sad, but potentially amusing



How cool is THIS???

Mark Ecko tags Air Force One!

I can't wait to get home and watch this!


German's Hate It When People Remember

No, You Can't See Our Papers

Some German officials and other people argue that disclosing intimate details about the fates of concentration camp inmates and slave laborers would violate their right to privacy.

Shockingly, the Germans (though very ready to give the U.S. shit for our treatment of the Native Americans) aren't real big on letting the world see the detailed documentation on their systematic extermination of entire races of people.
I can't imagine why.


Recent Obsession

sorry for this recent obsession.
Mostly its a fascination with Scientology.
Not because the beliefs are so crazy (though they are...but one has to wonder if those beliefs are any crazier than, say, believing in a man who died and rose 3 days later and, somehow, through this process, cleansed mankind of all sin...), but because it seems to drive people so nuts.
Then again, I can't forget, say, Fred Phelps, Jerry Falwell, and so forth...
Outside of the expense of belonging to the Church Of Scientology, can anyone point out a significant distinction between that and Christianity?


Still crazy after all these years

Nope, Tommy is still wacked

The conversation was all smiles until reporter Björn Benkow insisted that experts say that dyslexia cannot be cured by Scientology as Cruise has claimed. There was an awkward pause, then Cruise burst into laughter. “I’m going to, in any case, admit that you have the courage of a madman,” according to our translator.

So, to disagree with Tom is to have the courage of a madman. I wonder...did Jim Jones say similar things? David Koresh?

Then the reporter mentioned Kidman and the two children that she and Cruise adopted. “Now you’ve gone over the line,” Cruise replied.

Tom...when oh when will you learn that being a star means your past is always with you?
And, btw, its OK to be gay.


FINALLY, a sense of humor

Tom wants to have a placenta nosh

Yeah, ok, now he's just fucking with us.
Could our little tommy finally be developing a sense of humor again?
(btw, would this be considered cannibalism?)


Friday, April 14, 2006

Rumsfeld has some good qualities

Rumsfeld has some good qualities

Gen. Peter Pace, chairman of the U.S. Joint Chiefs of Staff, also defended Rumsfeld this week, telling reporters that "nobody works harder than he does."
"People can question my judgment or his judgment, but they should never question the dedication, the patriotism and the work ethic of Secretary Rumsfeld," Pace said Tuesday.

now, don't get me wrong...YAY DEDICATION, WORK ETHIC, PATRIOTISM!
but, y'know, shouldn't intelligence and judgement really be in there?
I mean, for a good strong recommendation?
I'm just sayin'...


And if today weren't odd enough...

Beans Make Stinky!


Creepiest Christians EVER


At least 11 Filipino devotees were nailed to the cross in two Philippine villages during annual Good Friday re-enactments of Jesus Christ's final hours, organizers said...including Ruben Enaje, a 45-year-old commercial sign maker, who was nailed to the cross for the 20th time.

I don't even know what to say here


War On Drugs Is Against Conservative Politics

Please End The Drug War

As I've said before, on how many issues do Jesse Jackson, George Soros, Walter Cronkite, the ACLU, Cato, Bill Buckley, George Shultz and the Heritage Foundation agree?


Mohammed Terrorists Win Again

Comedy Central Caves

"I just got off the phone with a Comedy Central spokesman. I asked him about last night's episode of South Park in which, at a moment right before the prophet Mohammed was supposed to make a cameo, the words, "Comedy Central has refused to broadcast an image of Mohammed on their network" appeared on the screen. I asked him whether this truly was Comedy Central's decision or whether this was just another gag (with South Park, you never know). He said: 'They reflected it accurately. That was a Comedy Central decision.' Just in case there was any confusion, that settles it. Comedy Central censored the image."***

one word: cowards


Which Jon???

Wrong Jon Stewart Gets Booked

n embarrassed charter school has discovered it booked the wrong Jon Stewart for its annual gala. The DaVinci Academy thought it had made a deal with comedian Jon Stewart, star of "The Daily Show" and host of this year's
Academy Awards, to appear next week.
But last week, it learned that it had booked Jon A. Stewart, a former motivational speaker, businessman and part-time professional wrestler from Chicago.

This reminds me of a Spring Fling concert at UMass Amherst one year.
Queen Latifah had been booked (circa 1990 or so).
Apparently, her agent or whatever, assumed it was UMass Amherst, New York.


Thank God For Warren Ellis

Batshit Crazy

True story: in 1973, heiress Susan Branaman died a cancer-riddled, smackhead hooker. Her rich friends -- who paid for her cancer treatment but seemed not to be around during the whole smackhead hooker thing -- arranged her funeral and had her cremated.

And then snorted her ashes out of little silver bowls.


California Censorship

Manga Censored

Bill Postmus, Chairman of the Board of Supervisors of suburban San Bernadino County, California, has ordered the county's libraries to remove the scholarly text Manga: Sixty Years of Japanese Comics from circulation. He proudly announced the move, calling the book "obscene comics," on the county's Website, saying, "That book is absolutely inappropriate for a public library and as soon as I was made aware of it yesterday, I ordered it to be removed immediately."

Now, don't get me wrong, I certainly think that this book shouldn't be in the kids section, but if libraries are only going to carry books that
1) are appropriate for all age groups
2) offend no one
then the shelves will be filled with copies of various Babar books and works by Robert Fulghum


Goths Might Actually Not Be Completely Useless

Being Goth Is Good For Kids???

My psyche won't let me quote this.


Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Howard Leaves A Vacuum?

Whats Happening Now That Howard Is Gone?

And some rock stations, such as WAAF-FM in Boston, began promoting new online guides for "virgin" listeners to get them up to speed on the show's colorful characters.

Maybe, just maybe, instead of creating a show where you need cliff notes, they should, y'know, play some music.
It's so crazy it just might work.
(Yes, I know, putting a couple of slightly retarded people on the air who weren't funny at all SEEMED like a good idea, but, really, it's just cruel)


Monday, April 10, 2006

The Lactose Intolerant Are Genetically Inferior

Speedy Evolution
"The time scale for a strongly favored mutation to sweep through a population is about 5,000 years," said Jonathan Pritchard, a University of Chicago evolutionary biologist. "It's hard to get an exact estimate for rates of change, but we know that the lactase gene is evolving the fastest in humans. It was new 5,000 years ago and now it's in virtually everybody in Europe."

The lactase gene is what allows humans to metabolize dairy products as adults. It's widely believed to have evolved in response to humans' domestication of dairy animals -- individuals who could enhance their diet with dairy products had such a strong survival advantage that the gene spread at the speed of, well, several thousand generations.


Strange Google Links

A friend of mine has the following tagline:
"Peace - Its not just for Christmas Anymore"
Which causes Google to generate the following links in gmail.
Funny logic:
Leg Lamp Sale
It's Major Award Red Rider Leg Lamps

Jean Shepherd On Radio
Original performances from author of A Christmas Story on audio CD

A Christmas Story 40 Leg
Get this popular toy free. Free w/free shipping. Sign up now.

Christmas Story, Leg Lamp
Replica Xmas Story Leg Lamp $39.88 from the movie classic at SHOP.COM


Sunday, April 09, 2006

Review: Beast Wars

Transformers: Beast Wars Seasons One, Two, Three

I Netflixed this on a whim. I'd watched i decent chunk of it before and recalled enjoying it AND I absolutely
love watching TV on DVD.
This ended up being no small event.
I got Season One.
2 DVDs at a time.
Watched them and NEEDED more.
I upgraded to 4 DVDs at a time.
I moved things around in my queue.
And got fucked.
Whatever snapshot they took of my queue had Beast Machines in the first slots.
I immediately returned Beast Machines.
And then received Season 2, disc 2, Season 3, disc 1, Season 3, disc 2.
No Season 2, disc 1.
Anyhow, I eventually got it.
That said...
I love this show.
It does play by certain conventions (the heros never take the offensive, the villians never really follow through, and are unable to really work together) but within that context, it does an amazing job of storytelling.
Some of the heros have their own agendas (i.e. DepthCharge's need for vengence against Protoform X) and the villains are often truely insane (i.e. Inferno is QUITE FUCKING NUTS and more than a little funny and Megatron ain't exactly stable either). Its also very funny at times, and toss out its share of references (in one episode, they refer to the Stainless Steel Rat, Die-Casting, and Dr. Strangelove). There's also a certain amount of internal awareness (i.e. sometimes they refer to Teletran One as Teletron One, and this gets very consciously corrected in one of the final episodes).
The series has just enough continuity to make it engrossing without making it convoluted, and the subplots can take several episodes to work out, if not seasons.
By the end, the struggle has become epic and archetypal. They bring in prophecies and biblical references. You feel as they do, that reality hangs in the balance.
What really fascinates me is that so much of this was completely improvised. The Season One set comes with interviews with a couple of the director/writers and the 'fess up to not having had even a clear idea of what planet the series takes place on, and so when this series ties in with the G1 series so perfectly, well, you can't do anything but be impressed. Oh, and you also find out that these guys knew virtualy nothing about the G1 series.

Heros die, villains die, alliances shift, characters grow and change. The story evolves and becomes more and more of...well...whatever it is that stories become.
Next week, Beast Machines!


Friday, April 07, 2006


AT&T Forwards Internet Traffic to NSA

"The evidence that we are filing supports our claim that AT&T is diverting Internet traffic into the hands of the NSA wholesale, in violation of federal wiretapping laws and the Fourth Amendment," said EFF Staff Attorney Kevin Bankston.

So, Bush isn't the only danger to the Constitution and Civil Liberties



Bite me.

(yeah, this is showing up all over, but I like



Disabled Japanese to scale Swiss mountain aided by 'robot suits'

The battery-powered suit, code-named HAL, detects muscle movements through the natural electrical currents that pass over the surface of the skin and anticipates the next move. In this way, it aids movement and enhances the strength of the wearer.



Time Travelers say bye-bye

Time Travelers say bye-bye

"The Grandfather Paradox [where you go back in time and kill your grandfather] is not an issue," said Mallett. "“In a sense, time travel means that you're traveling both in time and into other universes. If you go back into the past, you'’ll go into another universe. As soon as you arrive at the past, you're making a choice and thereÂ’ll be a split. Our universe will not be affected by what you do in your visit to the past."

So, basically, traveling back in time means you vanish from our universe.
No way to return (so it seems).
I suppose that might be OK for the traveler (whatever universe they end up in might be close enough to home that they don't care), but really, everyone else is saying goodbye to them.
Thats sort of...sad.


RIAA says 'Drop Out Of MIT'

RIAA says 'Drop Out Of MIT'

But as much as I tried to argue that I was in as unique a situation as someone with medical expenses, there was no getting through. Bowie even had the audacity to say, “In fact, the RIAA has been known to suggest that students drop out of college or go to community college in order to be able to afford settlements.

Now, regardless of how you feel about the RIAA's campaign against music piracy (note:I agree with them conceptually...these people ARE stealing music), this
is, of course, insane.
The dollar amounts are nothing to RIAA. They could, instead, have the person sign a contract stating that they'd never steal music again, and, if they did, THEN the fines would be imposed.
Doesn't that seem like a reasonable compromise rather than having someone drop out of school?
The bloodthirstiness of the RIAA helps no one.
Least of all the RIAA.
They need a lesson in human behavior.
The more you fuck with someone, the more likely they (or people who identify with them) are likely to fuck-back.


International Conflict I Care Least About

Florida Hates London, London Smacks Back

(note, this apparently has been resolved, but still...)

FORT MYERS, Florida (AP) -- School officials in southwest Florida said terrorism concerns led them to keep a high school band from marching in a London parade, but now angry British officials are telling travelers that Fort Myers is no safe haven, either.

Local tourism officials fear the dispute could cost Lee County millions in tourism dollars, and even Florida Gov. Jeb Bush has commented, saying, "Perhaps the superintendent is being overly cautious in this regard."

Bush said Superintendent James Browder probably should have looked at the U.S. Department of State's travel advisory before declaring London unsafe for Fort Myers High School's band to march in London's 2007 New Year's Day parade.

District administrators nixed the trip in early March, citing the threat of terrorism in Europe -- especially the 2005 terrorist bombing of London's city buses and subway system, which killed 52 people.

On Friday, London parade officials released a statement to the News-Press of Fort Myers, warning British travelers about the city's crime and homicide rates, Lee County's record number of traffic deaths in 2005 and that the "entire area is prone to catastrophic hurricanes."

British media were expected to publish the statement Monday.

Browder said he's not changing his mind and the band should stay within the United States.


Alpha-bits are dead to me.

So, I used to love Alpha-Bits.
Alpha-bits, for those living in a box, are sugar coated, letter-shaped cheerios.
But no more.
New Alpha-Bits
The difference?
Now they are just, well, letter-shaped Cheerios.
Whats the point?
I wanted to be funny with this post, but I'm too sad.


Thursday, April 06, 2006

Apologize for huging!

And here's one for the "You've Got To Be Fucking Kidding Me List"

Hugging is bad?

Seriously, guns in schools, pregnant kids, and this is what causes an issue

I can't even understand this.
I mean, its like reading a foreign language.
You recognize the letters, maybe, but...


The Worst Religion Has To Offer

The Worst Religion Has To Offer (that doesn't include a gun or gas chamber)

my favorite bit:
Meanwhile, Lou Sheldon of the Traditional Values Coalition urged the abandonment of the terms “homosexual” and “gay” in favor of adopting terms such as “sodomites” and “the perverted ones.”

Exactly how is this crap any different than that whole thing with the Christian in Afghanistan?


Clash = Terrorism

Singing The Clash Can Make You A Terrorist

The taxi driver had become worried on the way to the airport because Mann had been singing along to The Clash's 1979 anthem "London Calling," which features the lyrics "Now war is declared -- and battle come down" while other lines warn of a "meltdown expected."

And, of course, singing The Ramones' "I wanna be sedated" makes you a drug dealer


Judas was a hero

Judas Did The Work Of Jesus

The key passage comes when Jesus tells Judas "you will exceed all of them. For you will sacrifice the man that clothed me."
National Geographic said the author of the gospel of Judas believed that Judas Iscariot alone understood the true significance of Jesus' teachings.


Smallville Lawsuit

Siegel Sues Smallville

I dunno...probably won't wash, and it probably is greed, but given how completely screwed on Superman Jerry and Joe got, can you blame the family?


It's OK to beg

So, someone just came in with a form to buy pizzas as a fundraiser.
The point was to defer costs for Verizon to keep their DSL costs low so that
people don't go to, say, Comcast cable modems.
Bizarre, isn't it?
I mean, isn't that effectively begging?
Having worked in the non-profit world, I shudder to call this fundraising.

Now, substitute 'Expensive Day Care Provider' for 'Verizon' and 'Double strollers
and Outdoor equipment' for 'DSL'

Let Those People Go!

Its OK to be angry at them. They aren't white.

If you follow the links, you'll see that Rep. Goode is, in fact, one of those folks who think that the Civil War was a crime, but only because the south lost.
I still don't understand why we put up with this crap.
Nor do I understand the confusion southerners display when faced with the bad light others see them in.
I, personally, think we should allow the south to secede.
I wonder how long they'd last.
I figure, what, 6 months?
Then they'd come back begging.
And, better yet, we wouldn't have to make them states. They could be territories, which means NO VOTE FOR YOU!

South will rise again my ass.